Generations unfold, father to son, mother to daughter. Where one leaves off, the other follows, destined to repeat each other mistakes, each others triumphs. But, how do we see the world if not through their lens? The same fears, the same desires. Do we see them as an example to follow or as a warning of what to avoid? Choosing to live as they have simply because it is all what we know or driven to create our own identity?And what happens if we find them to be a disappointment? Can we replace them? Our beloved mothers and fathers. Will destiny drive us to find our way back? Back to familiar comforts of home?
I sat there, for how long it doesn’t seem to matter. There I was, staring at the blank pages before me. An old laptop where I usually find to be more than a companion. Wondering how to speak these unspoken words, how to express these unwritten thoughts? Continue reading “Value of Love”
The eyes creaked open a little. It was dazzled by the sudden surge of bright gold. A drowsy arm reached for the watch beside the bed. A stream of pain emerges on top of the head all of a sudden. The drowsy arm quickly searches for the source of it. It rubbed the head to soothe and make the pain go away. I blinked and realized that the gaudy glare was from the light that I had not switched off the night before. I tried to remember what was causing this pain…
Then it filled my memory. It was all coming back.
I was really excited that morning. I woke a little bit late and got dressed as fast as I could. My heart was pounding and my mind racing as to today’s plan. I ran all the way to the bus to find that the lecturer is already waiting by the bus. Still puffing I quickly got on it. I knew that I was in for a new experience.
“I’ve been watching but the stars refuse to shine,
I’ve been searching but I just don’t see the signs”
These are the words that best describe what is going through my mind then. Fake smiles and meaningless laughter helps from other people noticing it. Every now and then hoping for the sun to muscle its way over the dark cloud to shine its sunny rays into my life. A bit of sunshine would be nice for a change.
… And know that Allah cometh in between the man and his own heart … (Al-Anfal, 8:24)
So, the journey has begun. Physically I have arrived, but the heart and mind needs some persuading into. I didn’t have to seek further. The moment I stepped into the camp, the burden and the weight seemed to just disappear into thin air. It seemed as if I had entered into a totally different world. I quickly settled in with all of the participants. Friends old and new alike. Some of them came from the far north of Hokkaido and some even came from the horizons of Korea!
…And whosoever keepeth his duty to Allah, Allah will appoint a way out for him, (2) And will provide for him from (a quarter) whence he hath no expectation. And whosoever putteth his trust in Allah, He will suffice him. Lo! Allah bringeth His command to pass. Allah hath set a measure for all things. ( At-Talaq : 2-3 )
The first night was highlighted with us forming a circle for a little bit of ta’kruf . The unique part of it is that each and everyone of us had to form a question about themselves. And randomly select another person to answer it for us. You’d have to experience it first-hand to enjoy the spirit of the game. It was quite fun actually. Okey, I’ll share it with you all, what my question was.
Me: What was the first sport that I got involved in?
3.Total free flowing “Samba-style” football(a little bit exaggerated …hehe.)
The train leaves in about an hour. It was nearing midnight. But I was not sleepy at all. I wondered if the journey that I’m going to take is worth the while.The heavy heart made me feel a bit reluctant to go, I guess. A journey to the east.
I am in a state of mess. My head is spinning with all the problems I faced. Furthermore, my savings is starting to dry up. I was at the bottom of the life cycle. I was contemplating how life has treated me. I had led an ‘easy’ life up until now. Then, without warning, all of a sudden everything came crushing down on me.
No matter where we come from, what languages we speak or what color our skin is, we are all unique in special ways. We all share the same desire and hunger to succeed and most importantly to love and to be loved. Many have argued that love is only a feeling and cannot bring wealth nor success but deep inside, we all know that love is the greatest motivation that a person can have.
When I was at the airport and on the verge of boarding the plane to come to Japan, I caught a glimpse of my mum’s face and I couldn’t help but notice that there was something shining in her eyes. I quickly realized that it was her tears. I didn’t realize it was happening but I could soon feel streams of tears on my own cheeks. I was actually crying too! Trying to avoid her gaze, I hastily waved back at her. It struck me then, as if I hadn’t realized it before, that I was all alone now, facing a whole new world. Stepping into the unknown, into a world that seemed so strange. I felt a sudden coldness as if an ice cube had been trickling down my back. I was actually feeling scared to leave the comfort and warmness of the ones I love the most. Even though there were a lot of people around me then, I felt so alone, rooted in the moment all by myself. I wandered where all the love and security had disappeared to so quickly? Is it all now left in my memory? Continue reading “Old Memories, New Adventures…”