The sound of waves crashing, and thunders roaring in the distance startled me. As the cruise ship splits through the edges of the sea, it swayed violently to the rhythm of the waves. The restless sea, under the dark stormy clouds reflects the sad heart. A heart filled with uncertainties of the future and plagued with memories of the past. As I lay in the dark bunk listening to the songs on the iPod, the mind wandered somewhere else. Somewhere far away, swarming into the chartered past, reliving each memories shared. As the words in the songs played as a distant background, the images from the past were shown through vivid movies. Memories flashed before me. Years of memories zoomed within seconds.
Cold air swept across the body where the expected sweat is replaced by cold shivers. After hours of delayed packing, finally it was time. Time to leave this place of mine. How can I? How could I?My heart is too attached with this place. This is the only place I called home in this foreign land. Where friends were made, and memories were carved. When we part, will I still be remembered across the deep blue water, across the green lush mountains,across the distant land? Hopefully the bonds will remain tightly knotted through the times to come.
As usual I arrived just in the nick of time. A senior’s house was made a meeting place. A place for last goodbyes. Nothing grand I thought. As I opened the door in exasperation, I shrugged the snow that had made their way onto my jacket and made my hair white. Still trying to catch some air, I didn’t realize that eyes were watching my every move. The many eyes that were watching bewildered me. I wasn’t expecting this. The two rooms were crammed with people. Almost 20 peoples I guess.I was speechless. Words cannot be uttered. Friends gathered for a sending off that I wasn’t going to forget. They had planned all this. I am awestruck but forever grateful.
Niigata, an hour away from Nagaoka, seems to be so short of a journey in that moment. I didn’t want to go yet. I am not yet ready I thought. A snow fleet decided to accompany us as well. All the way, it was snowing fervently. As the 4 cars continued to race above 120km/h, my heart was also racing. Memories filled those spaces. As we laugh through our conversations, a tingle of sadness contravene. I just can’t help it. I have seen so many goodbyes but this was hard. Adeli was the one who was like a big brother to me which I never had before. He showed me the ropes in life here. My Kosen mates with whom, I couldn’t be here today without them standing by me all these years. My football teammates who proved to be more than mates on the field but also friends off it. Thanks for all those moments where we stuck together when all seems bleak. There were times when I was a pain, or when I was down, but I’m glad you guys stood up for me. Here, friends are not just for times of happiness, but also as important for the times of need. When sometimes words cannot help, where sometimes intentions misunderstood, and sometimes actions aren’t just enough. We stood tall and be counted. Oh,how I longed for those memories…
As the night grew darker, the distant stars started to pop out. Amidst the misty night, we stopped by an Indian Briyani restaurant. This was the place where we celebrated days of glory and nights of enjoyment. Dishes filled the long tables filled with hungry faces that yearn for a feeling of ‘hominess’ in this yet forever foreign land. I werent attracted to the delicious spicy foods, which was unusual for me, who have such an appetite for briyanis. As we talked away those precious times, with every face that I saw, flashes of memories filled me. I can see them again from time to time, but it just won’t be the same. Will it? As we grow up, chances like this grew harder with each passing day. The smiles on their faces and the truth in their eyes tell me what we all meant to each other. And the touch of your hand tells me that you’ll be there to catch me wherever I fall.
I knew it then, that it was time for me to part. As they formed a circle, I hugged each and everyone of them. While some would just hold tightly, concealing the sadness, others would whisper words of encouragement in my ear, which I will always remember for a long time. As I crossed the the departure gate, an escalator escorted me.Far away from my friends that I have got used to as a family member of mine. I waved fervently to them trying hard not to weep, and rather opted to be a big boy who can face whatever that lies in store for him. For better or for worse, this is the road that I have to take. I held more tightly to the bags that will be my ‘friend’ through the 19hour journey to the new place in Hokkaido.The cruise gates closed all of a sudden. The ship was ready to depart but my heart wasn’t. It was still clinging on to the memories of the past. Will I make it in the new world? Will I be alright?
The seasons in the sun, and the seasons in the cold, all the highs and lows, those moments really are memoirs to savoir. Friendships are something hard to define. Is it true that, once we have lost the ones we really care about, only then can we learn to appreciate them? Why is it hard to express the feelings bulked inside? When we come to realize the importance of our loved ones, it is more often than not, it’ll be too late. Hold on to the memories of the past, while creating a new one for the future. As we look back, hopefully with the loved ones in the future, we will have a reason to smile for.
38 thoughts on “More than Words”
sedih pula saya baca entri ini..bila dapat surat tawaran belajar, baca tempoh pengajian, ‘4TAHUN’???? lamanyaaaaa~ tapi, bila dah duduk di sini, pejam celik pejam celik, macam 4 hari je rasanya..
adat pertemuan, pasti ada perpisahan~ tapi, tak bermakna terputusnya hubungan kan..
salam…at last, a new post..i think its true what people said about taking ur time completing something in order to make sure its perfect,flawless..ur post is the proof..
it’s sad to leave ur friends when u go somewhere else, i’ve experienced that ever since i’m in primary school as my father was transfered a lot then. but of course life must go on. u’ll make new friends, while keeping in touch with ur old friends..
hmm..i’ve been thinking, what’s ur business in hokkaido?are u continuing ur study there?is it really 19hours from nagaoka?
Salam…life is one long obstacle course…without someone beside..Living with friends, far from hometown..of course we need them..good luck in Japan..still,you must SMILE if you are willing to cheer others and help make others SMILE before you ever can SMILE (rambling!)..
err..kenapa nama-nama tempat di Jepun akhirnya huruf A? I’m curious..huhu
1 more thing…that song…spitz – robinson..what it’s about?friendship?
adoi..sedihnya post ang ni..rilek derih nnt golden week kita jumpa2 blik..kontek2 ah sama mmber2..kta pkai softbank tsuuwa muryouu..haha..
Brother. A heartwrenching post.
Totally heartwrenching moment right now ney?
Savour while it last and believe the fact that the dunya is not our permenant place. Whihe hold that believe our heart only felt at ease. No matter how hard the separation is, it will happen no matter where we locate at the moment. Be it with our parents, partner (husband and wife) or friend. The day that there will be no separation is the day of judgment when two people who meet and part because of Allah will be together under the same umbrella (Ahadith).
Be well, and look upon Allah.
wah sedih nya yeh..
btw gambar last skali tu tgkap time natsu 2006 masa kita 3nen kan?
hmm..sedih2..leh bayang yeh..aku pun sedih sgt nak tinggalkan oyama..maybe bilangan yg aku tinggalkan tu tak sebanyak “keluarga” nagaoka ang,tapi dah cukup buat aku sesak nafas.pergh sesak nafas tu..
dan mungkin cara kita berpisah juga lain,ang naik cruise,aku plk naik keta..aku dlm keadaan terpaksa tinggalkan oyama.jatuh bangun aku kat situ.muka-muka depa yg aku ngadap tiap2 ari,aku nyesal skrg,kalau dulu aku lebih hargai kehadiran depa dlm hidup aku kan bagus.
hidup perlu hijrah.ganbare yeh kat muroran.ang tau dak,ang la paling utara dlm batch kita,aku n syamim plak paling selatan.tp nnti leh jmpa lagi kan..ganbare!
Yeh!King je ke?should mention my name too ;p
mentang2 la x hnta smpi feri.isk..
kasih sayang akan persahabatan yang terbit dari hati.kerna itu fitrah manusia.
moga bertemu di tokyo. 🙂
Sedih bangat nie(ロビに影響された)…sori maser anta ari 2 xder..nie kalo budak bola baca…boleh nangis nie..pemain bola kan sentitif…ko juga yg cakap dulu..
ak dah la x power bi..nak faham artikel yg penuh dgn kata-kata tersirat nie ak amik masa 4 hari 4 malam…xper boleh wat bi punyer jukken benkyou..hehe..
sori la bro kalo maser dulu ak ader wat benda yg lukakan hati ko..
besar kepala ker..sori..xder maksud hati nak wat mcm 2..just ak suka bergurau ngn ko..
Insyaallah ak turun tokyo…semata2 nak jumpa ko..terharu x?nie pantun utk ko
Sekali pandang bila kaU lari gAyamu X ubah Mcm beckham,
Dua kali pandang x ubah mcm salomon kalou;
nak wat cam maner hidup mmg’KABhi kusHI KabHi GhaM’,
TeGuhkan DiRimu seteguh Diriku…
akhir kata majulah sukan utk negara msia..
Such a sad sad entry and laced with the melancholic melody of Spitz’s song..makin bertambahlah kesedihan tu. InsyaAllah separation is only in the physical form but not in the memory and prayers. Pray that we and our friends far away will be greeting each other soon, if not in this world, in the wonders of the jannah insyaAllah.
Be strong and persevere!~
(tak tau Spitz ada lagu ni. best sungguh..the only song from Spitz that I know of is Yoru wo Kakeru so thanks for sharing this beautiful song with us)
sedey nya bace entri ni, sono toki no kimochi wakaru yo ^_^
anyway all the best in hokkaido, see you in yokohama
Every meeting will end with parting.
But only through parting that there is another meeting, though we never know when will that be.
All the best to you and good luck =)
So! It’s a sad entry. Yeah, it’s a sad one(said with a rather sad tone) No farewell is a happy one, right? I guess, I’ll write the same when it’ll be my time to leave Ukraine. Yeah, I think, I’ll do (the sadness after reading your entry still lingering for some time while I write this comment)
What it’ll be? Living others behind and facing the future alone? I just can’t imagine. Hope you make new friends there in Hokkaido and well, good luck!!
You got on cruise? OMG, until now, I’ve never thought u could go to other place by cruise (as a mean of transportation, not a holidaying craft) , I mean cruise is one thing, to Hokkaido? Usually I’m only thinking of plane when it involves long journey across the sea. But this is Japan of course, what am I thinking?
So, how’s Hokkaido? Bet you must have a lot of stories to tell about it. Heard that it’s one of the many beautiful places (tourist spots) in Japan? I think you owe us all one entry about Hokkaido, right? Hehe…
Did you take any English Literature class? I’m always mesmerize by your way of writing especially when you describe nature and stuffs. I think a lot of people have told you already, but you’re good at it. So, I’m just wondering…
p/s: Sorry I talk a lot. Felt like ages since I was last here, so once I’m at it, why not stretch the length, right? You don’t write always, that’s why. Jeez, I can already imagine your reply to this, must be longer than mine, haha. Anyway best of luck there!! Wassalam.
Hi, nice post. I have been pondering this topic,so thanks for writing. I’ll definitely be subscribing to your site.
Huhu.. hampir menitiskan airmata. Gambar terakhir kau itu, aku yang tangkap, betul tak? Nostalgianya ada dalam diriku sekarang.
terus thabat ye sahabat!
Walaupun hanya setahun sempat melalui kehidupan di kosen bersama Idris tapi banyak pengalaman yang telah dikutip.Masih terbayang lagi insiden Idris dan Zul berebutkan kek coklat pada 1 ramadhan yang lepas.Dan kini insiden itu hanya menjadi satu kenangan.Selamat berjuang di bumi Muroran.
Reply for iliana,
Salam. Hai Iliana. Thanks for sharing ur experiences with us. 🙂 How r u btw?
I`m glad the 4 years that u have gone through seems to just fly away. You must really enjoy life there rite? How long till u finish stdyng there?
That old saying “time flies when you are having fun”, has proven to be right,rite? Well,time must go really slowly when u`re missing someone/sumthng. That is how I fell sumtimes over here.
I like ur quote about meeting and parting. Sumtimes what makes relationship special is remembering others when sumtimes we can hardly meet. Only then meeting them can be special rite?
Reply for MuNsYi-SaMa,
Thanks for sharing ur thoughts with me. How`s life treating u btw?
Sorry it took ages for me to update this blog with a new article. Been really2 busy with school lately.I have a prepared a new one in the coming days iA. It is not because I look for perfection, but with each article that I do, it should somehow give a satisfaction to me and most importantly the readers. rite?
Well, I am furthering my studies in Hokkaido. Muroran to be exact. Life here is totally different to where I lived before. Here it have a countryside feeling o it. The scenery here is breathtaking.Snow-capped mountains are around. There`s a world heritage here which happens o be a volcanic site.It is far from the hustle n bustle of modern/busy Japan.
From Nagaoka to the Niigata port is 1 hour. The cruise trip is 19 hours. N from the port(Tomakomai port) to the city centre is one hour by bus. and then one hour from Tomakomai to Muroran. So the real journey is a whopping 22 hours! I took that trip alone :p
Btw, I have uploaded a new version of the song. This time it has the lyrics of the song in English. It really gives a sentimental value of friendship in the song. Hope u enjoy it. Take care bro. 🙂
All too often we face these situations. People come, people go. But what remains are their memories with us.
Good luck with you new ‘adventure’ in Hokkaido! 🙂
Reply for syahidah,
Salam syahidah 🙂
How r u?
life is one long obstacle course…without someone beside..Living with friends, far from hometown..of course we need them…
Yup, the so called “Circle of Life”.Sumtimes we`re on top and sometimes at the bottom. Of course to get through the happy n difficult times, we need friends and loved ones to help us. Are u also living far from ur hometown?
erm,In Japan,most of the words/place names end with vowels because in Japanese, most of the words are pronounced with vowels.
For instance, my name is Idris, but in Japanese is Idorisu.
Hope that answers ur question. 🙂
yup..you answer my questions..but I’m studying in Penang..hometown in Pahang..not too far..
fuh..jadi Idorisu..lain sangat tuh..
Aduyai panjenyo gu. Kawe keno amik maso nok peghabih baco artiko nih. Tapi takpo kawe peghabih gok pahni.
Daitai baco seimbah lalu, bleh agok la artiko demo nih. Sedih semace jah. Tamboh-tamboh letok lagu feberek kawe plok, Robinson, haha.
Bereh gu. Keep blogging.
p/s:demo buwi BI, kawe buwi bahaso kelate, takpo deh? wakaka
Reply for ah pai bes,
Salam Ah Pai yg Bes. hehe. 🙂
How r u bro? Thanx sbb tumpangkan semalam aritu kat oyama. hehe.
Tu r,kat Jepun ni, time jumpe member2 r pling best skali kn. Klu cuti je mesti jln2. Bukan nak jln2 sgt tp nak lepak ngan membe2 tu yg best kn.
Sometimes words arent said, Actions arent shown, but deep inside, the thing that I cherish the most is friendship. May we meet again sumtime in the near future.
Thanks for giving me this song. (Hampir2 menitiskan air mata.hehe.)
My life isn’t very good but what is life w/o obstacle right..btw, the songs are saiko..love it..
22hours of traveling alone must be really tiring..well, new experience in life is good once a while..
your new place sounds very exciting, very beautiful..upload more pictures will you…along with your new article..
you too,take care..wslm
Reply for alqasam,
Salam. Its been a while since I last heard from u. How r u? Hope u r fine n in good health always. 🙂
Yup, it really has been hard for me. To part with the friends here. In a land where it is full of promise but hollow inside.
Thank you for that, I really needed that. I hope through this experience, it make me stronger as a person and most importantly as a Muslim. Muslims need to show that they can survive anywhere and in what ever circumtances rite? This is also a form of Jihad isnt it?
Take care.May u also be looked upon Allah always. 🙂 Hope to hear from u again soon.
Reply for amir5656,
Salam bro 🙂 How r u? Camne life kat tempat baru? Yamaguchi best ke?
Yup, gambar last skali tu banyak sangat kenangan. Tu mase musim panas yang kite spend same2. Ngan Irfan,ejat,hazwan n geng2. Ingat x kite gi nek skyline gi nek gunung?Pastu mandi air sungai sejuk sangat?Mule2 nak letak gambar tu api cam xjumpe je. Nanti try cari balik.hehe.
Tu r,we didnt get the chance to meet up before we part. Hope u r doing well there. nanti bile2 dtg r Hokkaido plak ek.
Tu r,jauh tu kite dipisahkan. Tapi iA our hearts will be forever bonded by ur friendship. Ganbare kat sane jugak ye 🙂
ptut la aku tgk muka sedih je lagi wpun sampai muroran awal-awal tu..x salah jgak la firasat aku nampaknya..hehe..bina friendship kat muroran plak no..hoho…
wow, this is deep….(reflecting myself)
should appreciate friends beside me more,would they say the same thing if we’re to part~~
favourite phase- “We stood tall and be counted.”
Good luck in the new place…new place, new adventure kan, waiting for next post~
Reply for yatie,
Salam yatie. How r u?
Well,I wish I could mention each and everyone`s name in here.Well, even if I didnt mention ur name personally,but what u have done not just for me, but for all ur `innocent` juniors, we will be forever grateful. Thanks. U we the one who introduced us to the giant icecream.( FYI about half a meter tall right?) Now it is kinda a tradition to bring new juniors there. I miss that place.
Nway, how was ur job interview in Tokyo?Or are planning to work in Japan?hehe.
K,c u soon.
Reply for warkahraudhah,
How r u?How`s life in Nagaoka? Hope u are doing fine ye.
Yup,u have defined the love of friendship spot on. If the wasnt love in this world, what would we become then? Hopefully the bonds of love through friendship will last for the times to come.
Hope to see u soon bro. It was nice meeting up with u in Tokyo the other day.
Gudluck in ur exams bro.All da best ye.
oh sedihnya bila baca entry ini. goodbyes make me crazy. semoga bertabah hati ya kamu 🙂
Reply for IkEr CasiLLas NaGaoKA,
Salam bro. 🙂
Hallloooooo..How r u? How`s life in Nagaoka?
2 r, time tu ko kat Mesia lagi kn?Balik2 kat Nagaoka tgk2 aku dah xde kn.haha. Betul r, aku xtau nape tapi footballers besenye sensitif r. Ntah, maybe care bola tu men leh wat jadi sensitif kot.
Nway,glad to see u in Tokyo the other day. Walaupun kalah kat final ngan Nagaoka, tapi sonok r. Ko ganbare ye in ur exams.
Wah,penat aku fikir nak balas pantun ko ni camne.Huhu. 40 hari 40 malam fikir.haha.
Andai bulan jatuh ke riba,
Beratnya bulan baru terasa(bukan saja terasa berat malah terseksa)
Kadang suka kadang duka;
Kenangan bersamaMu xkan ku lupa sampai bila-bila….
(Okey x? Boley terima x pantun ni?hehe)
Take care bro. C u soon. All da best ye.
Reply for Aqil,
Salam Aqilah. 🙂
How r u?Sorry for the late reply.Life in this new place have been pretty hectic. I even have night classes! huhu.
Nway, how about u? Hope u r doing fine over there.
Thank you for those encouraging words. I really needed that. Hopefully I`ll find the strength to fight on.
p/s: I like Spitz songs actually. Another one that I think is great is called Cherry.(click here to listen to the song)
all the best yeh with the hokkaido!
entry yg sedih. sob3.. i hate n always hate when it comes to departing part. but it’s life. we wish to not move n still remain in the memories, the place or part tt make we always belong to.
but the miracles thing is, yet, people keep moving on.
“sumthings, thou best forgotton, can never go away. we carry them with our heart, till the end of time”
Reply for eyeme,
Salam eyeme. How r u?
I know u must have felt the same way too rite. How`s life in your new place?
Nway,good luck to u too in whatever u do. Hav fun in Niigata.haha.
Reply for Calvin,
Hai,How r u bro?
I heard that u guys got all `suited up` and took pictures n all. Guess u all cant wait for graduation day rite?haha.
Love the u describe about meeting/parting. U`ve got it spot on. Yup, I really hope the bonds created while we meet will be strong enough until the time we meet up again. Dont forget me k?haha. Send postcards if u have time. I`ll always visit ur blog for time to time to keep myself posted on what u guys r doing.haha.
K,all da best to u too. Ganbatte kudasai! 🙂
Reply for Balqis,
How r u? Hope u r doing fine in Ukraine. Is it getting warmer there yet?
Firt of all, I`m so sorry for the late reply.
Yup, it is always hard to bid farewell. I guess it gets harder when we have lived, laughed and also cried together to suddenly part ways rite? It kinda reminded me of a feeling when I first went abroad without my family beside me.(Refer here) A sad feeling but I have to face what lies in front of me. I`m sure u`ll also be strong when the time comes. How much longer will you be in Ukraine?
I`m sure by now, if u went back to Mesia, u`ll be missing Ukraine and vice versa. Rite?
Well,the way they sent me that day was truly special. I almost wanted to cry in front of them but opted otherwise.(Of course its against the rules for boys to cry in public rite? haha..*wink*) I had 19hours of sitting alone reminiscing the fond memories with them. I kept telling myself that I have to move on but my heart keep reminding me of the past. It was really hard. But, I am gradually adapting to new life here. Alhamdulillah, the guys here are really friendly n all. I guess my prayers are somewhat answered iA.
Actually, going by cruise is much cheaper than by flight. Starting a new life requires a lot of money, so I guess I could save a little through traveling. Nway,going by cruise is quite fun, that is if u’re not traveling alone.haha.There a are a lot of cruise in Japan as a way of traveling coz its an island. Sometimes its smarter to travel that way compared to trains or even flights. But dont go on a cruise if ure in a hurry coz its takes ages to arrive to the destination. My head felt dizzy for the next few days after going on the cruise… I surely hope u are’nt seasick. hehe.
Yup,in these short space of time, many thing have happened. At times I feel so glad to be here joining the community here and at times I would also get lonely going through the nights.
Hokkaido is renowned for its beautiful scenery and fresh foods. The sushis here are just great! The fishes are big and so good compared to the ones in Honshu. 🙂 No wonder Im putting on the weights here.haha.
InsyaAllah, in the coming future I will share my stories here. I can promise u that much.
Nope, I have never taken those classes. Maybe, I learn to write this way since I was in primary school. As I grew up in England until Standard 6, I guess I was thought from the very basics by English teachers.
Their style of teaching is totally different from the ones in Mesia. I must admit I was a bit shock when I first cam back to Mesia. In England the teachers would encourage us to express our feelings through writing or arts. They would ask us to describe it as we feel it. I guess the freedom of expression is there more than back home. I guess that somewhat effected my style of writing.
Nway,thanks for supporting my work please keep doing so in the future also iA. I hope to improve from time to time.
p/s: I’m sorry for not writing as often as I like but when I have the time, I`ll some more.Hopefully a much happier article iA.hehe.
p/p/s: I hope u’re satisfied with my reply.hehe.
Wow, this was like ages! Huhu…
Anyway, waiting for ur next article plak. Hehehe…
Thank you for ur reply. Good luck there!
p/s: Don’t bother to reply for this one. Eheh.. ^_^
hi the dreamer
tenkiu for dropping by 😉
kita pon 1st time gak lawat blog ni
salam perkenalan 😉
have a nice day ya 😉